Mormon Family

Mormon Family questions and answers

Find more information on LDS Mormon Statistics @ The Adherents Religion Website.

Q: Indexing projects on the Mormon Family Search site?
Is or has anyone signed up to help with any of the indexing projects on the Mormon genealogical website? I just signed up and am trying to figure out what to expect. I mean, is there a minimum that they expect you to do? Is it difficult to transcribe and submit the information? Is it something that is better left to someone who is really experienced with genealogy or is it something that a novice (like me) would feel comfortable doing?

A: There's no minimum or maximum, you can work at your own speed. But once you start a batch, you do need to finish it (it can take a half to a full hour per patch, depending on you). The process is fairly simple, especially after you finish the tutorial. But sometimes deciphering handwriting can be a pill. You can be a complete novice. In fact, most of the volunteers helping in the project are (like me =) ).

Q: What should I bring with me when having dinner with a mormon family?
I have been invited to have dinner with some neighbors. My first inclination is to bring a bottle of wine with me so we can all share but then I learned that mormons don't consume alcohol or caffeine; which means the wine, coffee and tea are out of the question. I would like to make a nice impression. What do you suggest I bring. Do mormons like dessert, how do they feel about sugar? Why don't they consume wine and caffeine?

A: We are admonished not to consume alcohol, tobacco, or hot drinks in the Word of Wisdom (link below). Hot drinks has been reveraled to mean coffee and black tea. Some members choose to also include caffiene in all it's forms, but others follow only the letter of the law. The Word of Wisdom also admonishes us on other health issues, such as exercise, rising early, eating meat sparingly, eating fruits in season, etc. We LOVE dessert! If you ever are invited to a Mormon potluck, the table will be overflowing with two things - casseroles and dessert. Often, when I'm invited to dinner with friends, I'll just ask what I could bring. Or I just bring a pie. Pie can be frozen for later if they've already prepared a dessert, or it can be eaten right away. Did you know Utah is the #1 consumer of green jello in the world? At the Salt Lake City Olympics, they even made a green jello olympic pin! LOL Picture of pin: http://www.pinlink.com/pins/SLC2667.html

Q: How do I get my Mormon family to back off about kids?
My grandpa married a Mormon woman with 7 children when my father was a teen. My father and I weren’t raised Mormon, we are the only ones who aren’t Mormon. My wife and I have been together for 5 years and we are not Mormon. My Mormon family brings up babies every time they see my wife. They have told her that they want her to have at least 5 children like everyone else in the family. My step-cousin is 25 (like me) and has 4 children and wants 2 more. So they really want me to follow their ways of MANY kids. We are planning to have our first baby soon, and we are having two children only. What can I do to get it thru their heads we are not following the Mormon way of life?

A: You need to step up to the plate here and tell them that this topic of conversation is OFF LIMITS. If they bring it up, politely but firmly leave the gathering or end the conversation. YOU need to set the boundaries; YOU need to take on this issue and be prepared to follow through. If they can't treat your wife and your decisions with respect, there need to be consequences. Religion is not a license to act like an interfering a$$hole. This is not a Mormon issue; it's a family issue. Your wife doesn't deserve to have to deal with your family's crap; this is your job, and you're at least five years late. Deal with it now; it will only get worse if you don't.

Q: Are there any support groups for families to help adjust to and accept a gay mormon family member?


A: The Mormons spent $25 million to stop us from marrying. Do you really think they're going to accept a gay family member? My advice? Go atheist.

Q: In the Book of Mormon, did a family arrive in central America and start civilizations?
Okay, I have not really studied the history of the Americas or the Book of Mormon, but wouldn't archaeological evidence be able to prove that these civilizations existed by now, like the pyramids of Egypt? Before I can doubt what the Mormons tell me, I would have to do some research on the areas and time period to be able to determine if the civilizations existed and if there was a family, as stated in the Book of Mormon, that started them. But in the Book of Mormon, a family from Israel comes over to the Americas and supposedly starts some civilizations. I am not sure if this is true or not, but I do believe that there are pyramid like structures in Central America that are similar to Egyptian ones. Were these building ideas brought over by the family from Israel in the Book of Mormon? Because I think the Book of Mormon was translated from Reformed Egyptian.

A: Lehi started a cultured civilization ,there were more civilizations already in the americas.

Q: Do you know the Mormon "Family Values" Nevada Governor Jim Gibbons is filing for DIVORCE?
Does this fit in to the GOP "Culture of Corruption"?

A: Well, this is a loaded question. Let's leave the "Mormon" out of it cuz it is widely known that Jim Gibbons is a "jack". It's even been stated in the MSM. Now, the question is whether or not America can get over its "holier than thou" obsession with what people do with their private parts. The hypocrisy of it all comes down to throwing rocks at each other over "family values." The religious right and Karl Rove attacked John Kerry for his "family values" and screamed their righteous indigation from the media roof tops. But in the following years, we got to see a member the GOP in Congress get caught playing hide the proverbial weenie with underaged "pages" in Congress, Senator Larry Craig do his gay thing in a public restroom while beating up on gay people he didn't even know, then there was that Vidder dude who screwed around on his wife, McCain dumping his handicapped wife for a lover he later married, and the list goes on ...and now this Gibbons crap. So the moral of the story is: people in glass houses shouldn't throw rocks and the public really needs to cop a clue when they listen to the PR spin about "family values" coming from the voice boxes of these same hypocrites if people's personal lives are going to be used to determine whether someone can lead this country or not.

Q: How has the persecution experienced by early Mormon families influenced the the nature of the contemporary ?
mormon american family? compare this to American Indians and African Americans? How are they similar and different?

A: I can't say very much about African Americans and Indians versus early Latter-Day Saints, the prior two were persecuted because of their race. American Indians and Latter-Day Saints share in being driven from their rightful property by those who wanted it. Both had laws enacted that made it legal to murder them and steal their property. Latter-Day Saints were denied protection under the laws while the other two groups were generally not given these protections by the law in the first place. As far as how persecution of the early Mormons affects current Mormon families, a great example could be found in the effort of many Latter-Day Saints to pass proposition 8 in California. Our family has received some harassment and vandalism, not comparable to the levels that the early saints faced, but we have been able to look at what are forefathers went through doing what they knew was right and feel a bit of camaraderie. And, Wow JV. All I can say is I hope you are ignorant about history if you don't think the Mormons were persecuted. Otherwise I suspect that you are so deep in Mormon hatred that you have come to see the LDS church as the source of every problem that has ever existed in the history of time. Do you suppose Mormons went to Utah, many dieing along the way, because they wanted a brist walk for their health? It couldn't have anything to do with Governor Bogg's extermination order against the Latter-Day Saints. Last time I checked a law allowing the shooting of a person on site because of their religious beliefs classified as persicution. You may not agree with the faith, but you really should be aware of the history of the group if you are going to blame it for all your families spiritual woes. If you do believe that Mormons are the root of all evil, I suggest some form of counciling. By the way, you had better tell Abraham to read the bible because he was apparantly confused about your interpretation of God's opinion on polygamy. Cheers!

Q: Advice for a mormon family of 3 moving to abu dhabi.?
Please help with some inside information for members of the LDS church who are living and working in Abu Dhabi. I would like information on where to live, shop, schools, etc....

A: How mormon are you? My gut reaction is to tell you not to come. I know there are a few (at least 1) Christian churches here, but I do not go and don't really know anyone that does. Abu Dhabi is not an extremely easy place to live, esp. right now with the rents being out of control. Find out first if your company will provide accommodation or if you have to look for it yourself. Make sure if you have to look for yourself you get a decent amount or you will not find anywhere to live. Sorry I do not know too much about religions of my friends as I feel it is offensive to ask. The previous answer was prob. true 5 or so years ago...

Q: Where do I find a website to help me talk to my mormon family, to witness to them?
Hello, I am wondering if there are any Baptists out here that can help me find websites to help me witness to very strict mormon family members. They are trying to convert me, adn I want all the resourses I can get to prove their religion wrong, adn prove the KJV right.

A: www.mormonchallenge.com ide recommend buying the dvds so you dont have to actually read anything

Q: What potential influence does the Mormon concept of the eternal family have on husband-wife relationships,as ?
well as on parent-child relationships?

A: To a fully-believing Latter-day Saint couple it is the most profound of all concepts. The family is not only considered the fundamental building block of humanity, but also the foundation and the basic governing unit of the universe and the eternities, being the Order of Heaven. As LDS couples keep this perspective in focus, the simple trials and complexities of daily living pale by comparison to the grand realization of the glories of higher purpose. The resultant effect is deepened love, respect, admiration, devotion, service, care, communication and purpose. With this focus the couple can go forth united in the common purpose of destiny. The self becomes subservient to the whole that has become joined together by covenant with God as the head. A child "born in the covenant" becomes part of this eternal unit and is an integral part of the whole. When perspective is attained it is difficult to let the foibles of earthly folly to long obstruct the glorious bounds of true love, honor and respect.

Q: im married into a mormon family?
i knew the inlaws were mormons when i married my wife and her family has gotten like interfearing now. esp her brother and his wife. my wife and i have a profile in facebook and his brothers wife noticed we dont have the "married" boxchecked. they know were married. and her brothers wife is a god fearing person and is nosey. once there calling me uncle dave and then they tirn around and do this to me. i feel like a second class citizen to them. one sister and brotherinlaw has told them to knock it off. they have accepted me as part of the family. my sisterinlaw worksat a hosp clinic and she introduced me as her brotherinlaw. and that was special . and now my stepchildren dosent call me grampa infront of thegrand kids anymore its my first name now. im never going to join the mormon faithand my wife dropped out of it. my wife wrote her brother and wife quit nick piccing on me and leave me alone and that her brothes wife has to much time on her hands. what would you do to clear the air?

A: Understand that Mormonism is not a religion. It is a cult. A very successful cult. Try and be patient, but in the end they will always view you as an outsider.

Q: Good way to tell Mormon family...?
I don't believe anymore? Need advice. My whole family is Mormon and I have been putting off telling them I don't believe anymore because I know they are going to go all crazy. It is a really bad thing for Mormons to leave the church and I know my family is going to tell me all kinds of stupid things. Like I am going to go to hell, my mom has already said bad things are going to happen to me. It is stupid. I don't believe in their lies. Any one have advice for me? I respect their beliefs and I don't swear around them or drink coffee which I enjoy around them. But what really makes me angry is the times I have tried to tell them what I believe they beat me down. They just can't accept what I tell them. That is why I have put off telling them that I am completely leaving and want nothing to do with it. By the way I live in a completely different state then them and my husband is supporting my decision. I just need the support of my family.

A: well cami, the church doesn't force anyone to stay, they want you to figure things out for yourself. your family will love you no matter what, and if they are smart they wont push you away. but just be respectful and give them your reasons, dont disrespect their beliefs and then figure out yours. i wish i could help you figure out any problems that you had, I think its a great church and it has very sound doctrine, so I wouldn't call your family liars. try to love them and they will love you,sometimes you have to be more mature than your parents, but remember how hard it would be for them to hear... Good luck finding your way too what ever you do, dont get bitter!!! "bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for your enemy to die" Mandela 'Edit: also, i would for sure advise against sending them a cheesy form letter from exmormon.org or any other site...use your own reasons and words people waist so much time searching on sites like those that attemt to disprove this or that or cheapen things that they once thought important, are they trying to convince themselves? really. spend your time figuring yourself out, not trying to disprove a teachings that plenty of smart, dumb and all in between find true.

Q: Gay son in a Mormon family?
Hey! Well, I have three children, two sons who are 15 and 17, and a daughter who is 14. My 15 year old son recently came out as gay to me. We were driving home from the mall and he just told me he had something he wanted me to know, and then he said that he was gay. It took me by surprise for a second, but I told him that I loved him and that I want him to be happy. However, we are Latter-day Saints, and we live in a heavily Mormon suburb of Salt Lake City, Utah. I’ve always been an open minded person, but my husband is much more conservative in his beliefs and is a devout member of the church. I’m not sure if we should tell him or not. My son and I told my daughter a week ago and she thought it was quite cool to have a gay brother, and we told my other son a few days ago and he didn’t know what to think about it at first, but later came and gave him a hug and told him that he would always be his brother and that he loved him. So that went quite well. Now my son wants to come out at school tomorrow morning (Monday). I’m not sure if that’s a good idea, but my oldest boy said that he would protect him if need be, as they attend the same school. But if he comes out at school, then I’m sure some of the students will tell their parents, and then they may tell my husband, or the church. Homosexuality is very discriminated against here, and I’m not sure what to tell my son. He wants to tell his father and the school. Should I tell him to go ahead, or tell him to wait? I’m very confused and I just want my son to be safe and happy. My son, and our whole family, can be discriminated against in our tight knit LDS community. What should I tell my son? What should I do? Thank you for your help.

A: 15 is an age at which people can be sexually confused. The last thing he needs, however, is undue pressure. I think parents have the right to expect a gay son to follow the same rules of conduct as their other children. If you are loving and respect his agency, but persuade him to postpone sexual activity, you will both have a way to adjust.

Q: Mormons. If your mormon family/friend leaves the church, how does it change your relationship with them?
How do the mormon doctrines say to handle future time spent with EX mormons? Is prescribed treatment different when it concerns family or is it same for families as it is for friends? Book and scripture information is much appreciated. Thank You. I think person who provided information this question is geared towards, might have been thinking about Jehovahs witnesses,but I am not sure. Maybe it WAS the mormons after all!! I will contact them and ask. I have heard other people speak of similar treatment and am trying to find out "WHY" with this question. So far I am only getting denials that it happens at all. Interesting. Thank You for your input, I am sorry that this question brought back the memories and the pain. I am grateful that you answered this in the heartfelt way that you have, but I do not want to hurt you any farther. I will be following this up with other questions for other people. You have said and done enough already, I think it would be best if I blocked you as a contact,to shield you. I will do that tomorrow so you will have had time to see this and understand why. Your Family and others as well, really do still love you. I hope you KNOW that in your heart of hearts! Laterzzz

A: I surveyed over 300 former Mormons and asked them how leaving the LDS church affected their relationship with LDS friends and family. 87% said it dramatically affected those relationships and many elaborated citing examples of mom's who wouldn't let their children play with their children, parents who disowned them, vile things said about them by ward members, and Bishops who encouraged ward members to avoid the person who left. It's heartbreaking. So as I scan the responses, apparently these Mormons are among the very few who maintain friendships. Way to go. Most don't. My experience was ugly. Of course I held a leadership position so you can imagine the rumor mill. What has he done? My final Sunday, the Bishop wouldn't look at me, most avoided me as if I were satan and only one person wished me well on my journey. I believe he was sincere. Later, I reached out to several people I served with, not to tell them about the lie they embraced, but just to hang out. My calls were unreturned. My emails ignored. Many vicious lies got back to me and while I wanted to defend myself, I realized I had better things to do. I wrote it off to fear, but then again, the problem can't ever be the church, it has to be me, so I understand the mindset. But Mormonism was my life so I had to get a whole new set of friends. Remember, this was all because I researched credible evidence, couldn't get any additional evidence from the usual LDS source or my local leaders, the evidence was overwhelmingly against the LDS church, and I left out of consciounce. That's it. I didn't kill anyone, rape any women, nor did I have a secret desire to avoid church discipline. I thought it was a lie and still do. That was my crime. My family wouldn't talk to me for six months. I finally reached out to my mother and she welcomed the gesture, but said we should never talk of religion. That worked sort of, but the atmosphere was always cold and guared. My mother since that time has never ended a phone conversation with "I love you" as she often did as I reached out on a regular basis. Never since then. And I recently had a job offer that would have brought me back to Utah. My mother and brother were relived when I turned it down. Seriously, my brother said it would have been really awkward for them. When my mother does try to put feable evidence in front of me and I blow it away, she gets mad, disappears for a few months, then I re-engage with the same plastic, cold, guarded atmosphere. Same is true with my deeply LDS, Provo kind of guy brother. At my father's funeral, I was not allowed to speak, not even to eulogize my him. I speak for a living. My cowardly brother blamed the Bishop and it's true, Bishops control a funeral as they do other LDS meetings. And one family member tried to get in my face at the funeral with "sure proof of the LDS church." I just shook my head as I told him I'd gladly engage him once we got dad buried. No class. Alienation and anger is the pattern. It's must be scary for them to wonder if they're wrong. My experience was tame compared to some as I walk with other people who have left. Remember, the church can't be the problem therefore the person leaving must be. And in my case, no holds were barred. This was a nice confirmation of what I had come to know; I was leaving a cult. Other cults do almost the exact same thing. I've compared exit stories with former JW's, Scientologists, and a half dozen others and the pattern is always the same. They're the problem, they're a virus to be avoided, alienate, and attack. Sigh....

Q: When the DOW hits zero, will Mormon leaders get inspired to urge family preparedness?
Thank God a Socialist is about to take the helm of America. Thank God for the Democrats. Coming to save us all from capitalism, in the nick of time! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miXAZj-tcGI .

A: Your question is so all over the board - who knows what you are thinking - first Mormon leaders - and then socialists? P.S. LDS leaders have been inspired for years urging family preparedness.